Media Otitis

Jon Stewart for president! Mr. Smith Goes on Crossfire!
Man, did Jon Stewart stick it last week to beta-hack Paul Begala and his mean little top in the bowtie. It's really something to encounter moral and political seriousness on television (outside of The Simpsons or Stewart's own show, I mean.) Watch it here.

But back to our story, the self-abasing media figures on their knees before Bush-Rove. Every weekday on Crossfire, Paul Begala claims to be "Paul Begala, from the left." So, naturally -- you'll follow the logic -- he leapt at the chance last week (after complimenting Bush magnanimously as "a great guy...not a very good president, but actually a very good person") to blast into space a question about what exactly it was Bush was hiding under the back of his jacket during the debates. And on what basis did he explode it? It came from the left.

Here's the transcript:

QUESTION: My question is, what do you think the hump on G.W.'s back during the debate was?

STEWART: Say it again?

QUESTION: What do you think the hump on George's back during the debate was?

STEWART: The hump on his back?

BEGALA: Oh, you're familiar? This is (INAUDIBLE) conspiracy theory. Can I take this one?

STEWART: Yes, please.

BEGALA: It was nothing, his suit was puckering. A lot of people believe he had one of these in his ear. If he was being fed lines by Karl Rove, he would not have been so inarticulate, guys. It's a myth.

(LAUGHTER)

BEGALA: It's not true. There's this huge myth out on the left.

AUDIENCE IN UNISON: Thank you, Paul-from-the-left, for speaking truth to us about your own crazy people!

Okay, I heard the last quote only on my own headset, but otherwise it's as transcribed. I don't think that Paul Begala set out consciously to serve up untruths to the CNN audience. But his strange zeal to erase the question a priori and ad hominem (ad leftum) must have also rendered him psychologically unwilling to actually look at the video tape. Because anyone who looks at the Fox pool feed, especially of the first debate, will see that there is a box-shaped object under the back of the president's jacket. And a cord, too, both of them way bigger and solider than a pucker on even the worst suit.

And anyone who follows the news will know that the White House first claimed the images were faked, and then, contradictorily, that there was nothing at all under the jacket, and then that it was a rumple caused by a master tailor. And at last, the White House began stonewalling with japes that have the courtiers all in stitches.

So, who are the real conspiracy theorists here, the fantasists and true believers? And who are the real journalists? Those who ask the questions, or those who refuse, as an article of faith, even to look? As a public service, I offer this short refresher course:

How to Reason, a Primer for Hacks of All Ages

Syllogism 1:
"If Bush were cheating with a prompter, he wouldn't have done so badly, especially in the first debate. Therefore, he couldn't have been getting prompted."

This reasoning is so obviously flawed that I can almost feel Terry McAuliffe's amazement that others have seized on it as being anything other than a polite way to say that Bush may be a cheat, but at least he's an inept one.

By the logic of S.1, one might say that any Olympian who comes in at the bottom of his event could not possibly have doped. In short, it's no logic at all.

Because, of course, you can flub at cheating, as at anything. And sometimes it can actually be harder to fake it than just to wing it.

Moreover, while it's said to be easy to give a natural-enough sounding speech using an audio prompter, it must be far more difficult to produce quick, natural-sounding responses in an unscripted give-and-take. And the voice in Bush's ear wasn't any more used to an actual debate than Bush was; the White House hasn't had to face critical arguments in years.

So, scratch S.1. Here's Syllogism 2:

"Bush and Rove have long made cheating and deception for advantage their first resort. If Bush thought he could get away with it, he would cheat rather than try to prepare for the debate. And in fact, he did not prepare for the debate, his advisors said.

Case closed.

Finally, here's the other misuse of rhetoric and reason employed by fake journalists who care little about the truth of this or any question: Rather than confront reality or ask questions, to do their jobs, in short, they use meaningless labels intended to slur the source: "bloggers" "internet conspiracy theorists." In the inversion of reality that we've come to expect in public life these days (except for life savers like Jon Stewart!) these fake journalists are themselves conspiracy theorists and fantasists: in the face of all evidence and experience, they cling to the fiction that the White House tells the truth.

Well, this story does not give IsBushWired a spooky thrill. There's nothing mysterious or sophisticated about Bush's earpiece prompter: It's as simple as cheating at cards or golf or stuffing the ballot box, just plain old scummy behavior that ought to get a guy kicked out of Skull and Bones if not the White House.

Email tips and comments to IsBushWired@gmail.com. All messages will be treated as confidential.


In Your Ear

A writer who said he's a Secret Service agent posted anonymously to IsBushWired after the second debate last week, saying that, "In the case of his first and second debates, campaign advisors were providing rebuttal information to President Bush as Senator Kerry was answering questions...Just because President Bush used this communicator receiver to provide voters with more appropriate rebuttal answers to questions posed does not warrant negative comment. "

It's a truly astonishing post. There's no way to verify it, but it sure has an authentic ring, right down to the way the writer refers to the presidents he's served, and the blandly bureaucratic rationalizing of cheating. Here's the message in full:

As a Secret Service Agent, I can tell you that President is always wired with a communicator receiver to enable him to acquire detailed information in advance of situations that may arise. In the case of his first and second debates, campaign advisors were providing rebuttal information to President Bush as Senator Kerry was answering questions. This is not uncommon for an incumbant president. Having worked for President G.H.W. Bush, President W.C., and now President G.W. Bush, I am at all times aware that the president is wired, primarily to inform him of hostile crowds that he may encounter. Just because President Bush used this communicator receiver to provide voters with more appropriate rebuttal answers to questions posed does not warrant negative comment from this or any other website. The President has more on his mind than worrying about inconsequential people and whether his answers questions honestly, using his own thoughts, or the thoughts of campaign advisors and/or political analysts."

And here's a post to the site from another writer who also claims to know something about the matter:

"As a D.Sc. in Electrical Engineering and a communications specialist, I fully understand what has been said about the President being wired. In 1998, a small communications receiver was developed for the RNC to allow candidates to be cued on answers to provide for certain types of questioning. This receiver does not interfere with the communications equipment worn by Secret Service personnel and operates on a completely different frequency. With an adapter attached to the receiver, worn either on a shoulder harness or waist belt, a single Secret Service Agent, using a split frequency transmitter, a warn the receiver's wearer of any approaching danger. In the case of the President, it enhances his protection. He does not hear multiple voices or the chatter of numerous people. Using a satellite uplink on the transmitter--primarily for long distance communications--political analysts and advisors could easily provide verbal instructions to the President during a question/answer/rebutal session, without any interference from an outside communications source. The corporation for whom I am employed, has developed numerous "special" communications devices for our government. The particular unit mentioned by the above listed Secret Service Agent is one of the devices we have manufactured. Anyone with $150,000 can purchase the transmitter base, satelite uplink adapter and receiver. However, they cannot purchase the unit with the same frequency used by the President."